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A Field Guide to Nic Fits

by Nic Fits

/
1.
I was banned, from the record store, after coping a copy of Freedom of Choice. Silly cone hats, elastic bandages, it turns me on and its not perplex. six or twelve inch, a year old long itch, I can’t stop thinking about those revolution skitch. six or twelve inch, a year old long itch, I can’t stop thinking about those revolution skitch. Gimme gimme, gimme gimme, gimme gimme joko homo or the monogolid. Gimme gimme, gimme gimme, gimme gimme Mothersbaugh or the Voidoids. Gimme gimme, gimme gimme, gimme gimme that liquorice whip. Gimme gimme, gimme gimme, gimme gimme cause its in my zit. six or twelve inch, a year old long itch, I can’t stop thinking about those revolution skitch. six or twelve inch, a year old long itch, I can’t stop thinking about those revolution skitch. Gimme gimme, gimme gimme, gimme gimme that liquorice whip. Gimme gimme, gimme gimme, gimme gimme cause its in my zit. ye-ye-ye-yah, ye-ye-ye-yah, ye-ye-ye-yah DEVOlution, DEVOlution, DEVOlution Whip me, slap me!
2.
Welcome to the arty of New York City, where the city paints so much pretty. Everywhere there’s so much deeds, mentioning bands like David Byrne, The Ramones, Velvet Underground, and Dead Boys. I don’t know about this music zoo. What about you? twenty five and overwhelmed, can’t get enough of this New York Gem, Andy Warhol hits on acid, strutting around going like this, (make random noise) -man when’s the last time you hit that? and I say: Hey! Ho! Hey Ho! The French new wave is coming to town, I don’t wanna yak all: Nonsoit, Quoi de neuf, mes amis et les famillies? Vivre longtemps la musique concrete. -get it right you cheese eating surrender monkeys! Hey! Ho! Hey! Ho! I chug beer, but you sip on wine, I gorge pizza, but you take the cheese, I’m from New York, how about you? I’m from France, how about you? BOING! BOOM! TSCHAK! PENG! BOING! BOOM! TSCHAK! PENG! Whackem smackem, whackem smackem, New York, ye-ye!
3.
the lyrics are whatever you want them to be ;)
4.
5.
Rhythmic philosophy (art forms in clarity) has critical mess (who’s to judge its peace?) commericality (makes no sense at all) is such irrelevance (makes no sense at all) corporate expression (our generation) comes and goes (love and hated) artistic expression (our generation) can never be done. Build destruction and less destruction, so quit the old god damn debation. It’s like gum in your hair, daddy loves men, mommy digs pot, but I got the rock, no I got the rock! Freak out! corporate expression (our generation) comes and goes (love and hated) artistic expression (our generation) can never be done. Flex your head and rise above, You’ve heard of this slang, don’t you had enough? So grab yourself a chair, listen to what they said, punk is broke, but rock ain’t dead, no rock ain’t dead! Touche! Rock and roll (basis of our earhole) runs a big milestone (forever down the road) Johnny Rotten and Prince (Elvis and Morrissey) to D. Boon and Hendrix (musical tragedy) This is the story of the young adolescents, rocking their youth like their own government. Appraising the norm of narcorockcritocracy, better to see.
6.
I Don't Know 03:13
Practicing the week, gotta come up with a song. Lord have mercy! Cue melodic solos and a riff raff to yearn. How hard can it be? The bridge is in, and the verse is done. Who’s got the lyrics? I don’t want a concept, or a theme, or a pun. Nothing too embiggen. I don’t know, I don’t know! What we’re writing about! I don’t know, I don’t know! What we’re singing about! A song is a song, what difference does it make? Go and get your head out! Let it stand as a zero hit wonder, don’t ask how. (various genre) call whatever you want it. The song remains untitled. If the song speaks the soul or a suggestive gesture, then screw the dumbass title! I don’t know, I don’t know! What we’re writing about! I don’t know, I don’t know! What we’re singing about! I DON’T KNOW what’s the song is about? I DON’T KNOW how does the song start off? I DON’T KNOW who was in that song? I DON’T KNOW what the next lines are. I DONT’ KNOW …………………… I DON’T KNOW cause I told you so. I DON’T KNOW! I don’t know, I don’t know! What we’re playing about? I don’t know, I don’t know! What the hell is this song? I don’t freakin know!
7.
My Radio 02:49
I’m all shook up, for some music, cause its ready to air now. Late at night, so lets turn it up, the track is stabled, cause its up there. I’m all shook up, but pretty curious, the stations starting to fade now. Now its just a plain jukebox. Oh my god, its all gone! Wheres my favorite music gone to? I can’t take this anymore now. I can’t stand this! Makes me feel so sick! I can’t stand this! Makes me Retch! So Instead, they give you mainstreams, and top 40s, and I hate it all now. Change the real, I mean the reel to reel, I wanna hear the track I wanna hear! I want some Big Star, Sonic Youth, or Elvis Costello! But the stations a no-go. Goddamnit I wanna know! Wheres my favorite music gone to? I can’t take this anymore now. I can’t stand this! Makes me feel so sick! I can’t stand this! I just want… My radio! Hold airwaves! My radio (falsetto)
8.
I’m stranded in the desert/nothing to drink only sounds to hear/thoughts at think driving by the cactus/ boughton-weber road looking for something to do/’sides what im told meet me at the Denny's at the end of frontage road ‘mones played here 1983 huge parking lot there all you can see coyote moans up on royce “if jesus lives/ is your choice" call you up for a grand slam in the boondocks with me pop punk you see was only mirage sandy chuck taylors your whole entourage staked me on the fence by st francis hot desert sun left me to parish met up after at the dennys on 53 om nomnomnomnomnomnom om nom noma om nom noma I’m stranded in the desert/nothing to drink only sounds to hear/thoughts at think driving by the cactus/ boughton-weber road looking for something to do/’sides what im told meet me at the dennys at the end of frontage road
9.
10.
Insanity 03:10
The worlds prepossessing but bullshit is all I know, Society blows, that’s why I’m stuck here in a hole. Psycho image, feral eyes, narc or sleazy, its all above. Distraught laughters, madly in pain, there’s nothing I can get rid of. Send me to the psychic ward, does this mean I’m really free? Manifest succumbs my brain, guess they found my insanity.
11.
Void 02:01
Hey you big loco, won’t you give me a break? Its a really annoying thing, so quit it for christ sakes! Hootin, and tootin, your best way is all the way, But I don’t care about what you say, just zip your mouth and shut your face! Talking and talking is a very precious thing, We’ll clog it down your throat if you keep it up the pace. All I see is your work of art, But I don’t care about what your standards are! I don’t care about what you say, it all becomes void, does it make it anyway? The more you talk, it makes you a man, frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn!
12.
81 Seconds 01:21
I’ve been to 9:30, CBGBs, to a filthy of church in West Hermosa Beach, north to The Capital, hoboken maxwell, Club Metro and back to First Avenue (or 7th Entry) Little Rock, Camels, Tool and Die, Stone, and the Whiskey, Anthrax and Pine Street, Driving all over the road until the van goes beat! And I’ll be reading Suburbans, and Slash, but theres Sounds, and Search and Destroy, Maximumrocknroll, Punk, and the Rocket, Village Voice, Touch and Go and Force Exposure, Trouser Press, Melody Maker, the almighty Creem to the great Flipside, Screw this I’ll be making my own damn zine! I’m talking about Touch and Go, Ace of Hearts and Dischord, SST, Sub Pop and K, Homestead, Tentacles and Rought trade, Frontier and Slash, Kill Rock Stars and Wax Trax, We don’t need no stinking corporate mack!
13.
AADS 01:03
you asked me to tell you how I feel about you on the way home from band practice I was so happy coming home from that and talking to you dreaming, I wake up instantly i fuck up cork slice popped off juices flowing and I'm dying peaceful dying but I have to write 5 words to you "where's Ashley? where's Ashley?" all i can think of fighting father yelling mother running through the house looking waking up i need to see you oo oooooooooo Oooooo oo ooooooo Ooooooooooooooooo Ashley! Ashley. before i wasn't in a band writing songs before things would happen all of it imagined all of it was dreamland this might be the best i can do my songs were better written because writing was all that there was before you i love you so much and i never need to write again 2013, Kurtz, Swartz, Gillingham, Lim
14.
Europa 06:12
Attention, Fascist Gents. Iron tracks apart from the sea, all across Nazi Germany. A point-dexter working like a panther, a car conductor who won't dismantle. A heart to shed no need to mislead, no one knows and no one cares. (I said no one cares!) Liebe für alle once and for all, one hectic post war there's nothing to draw. Black turns to red, rose starts to bled, anything he says, nothing will stay, but fingers point on his chest. In Zentropa there's no need for a sin, a femme fatale is all he ever listen. (I said listen!) She sings like rebel, but without any cause. Like a hard-boiled women with a touch of villainous in her heart. Careful young Leopold, don't make any harmful mistakes. Time's ticking now and your life is at stake.
15.
I see you hiding under racks of discount clothes Riding tricycles through empty aisles Look at the fish, there used to be hampsters too The tiny ones were much more adorable than me and you Walmart after dark Let’s throw the football around like I’m your dad Empty the ball cage, kids, let’s be bad Take 13 items to the check out line Align everything on the shelves Walmart after dark I’ll never steal candy from the bulk candy aisle But with you I might surprise once in a while The manager says its time to leave Come on babe, hop in my pink barbie jeep! Walmart after dark
16.

about

This volume includes a comprehensive and detailed list of all known species of NIC FITS. This reference guide will be updated as more information about NIC FITS becomes known.

*includes rare footage of NIC FITS in the wild*

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releases January 1, 2037

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Nic Fits Baltimore, Maryland

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